A New Year.... Bring it on 2014!

        Happy 2014!  Is it really a New year? Where did the time go? Well the holidays came
 and went. I would love to say that they came and went without a hitch but... life is not as uneventful as we wish for here in the Waddingham household.  Just before Thanksgiving our Kalee had a day of seriously unexplained low blood sugars. By midnight we turned Kalee's insulin pump right off after hours of doing just about anything that we could think of to get her blood sugar to rise above 60.... Unlimited glasses of orange juice... sugar tablets... peanut butter and crackers... These attempts were doing nothing more than contributing to the nausea that poor Kalee was feeling.  I went into a "Diabetic Mom" panic...  U moms know what I am referring to...the half smile, no worries, consoling words and silly jokes all for the sake of keeping your sweet diabetic (no pun intended) calm.. Holding back the flood of tears that are on the brink of overflowing. After a returned telephone call from the endocrinologist... it was determined that we would have to administer glucagon in hopes of breaking this hypoglycemic cycle. My hands trembling uncontrollably as I pulled the glass vial with powder substance and barbaric needle out of the dreaded red glucagon case. As I mixed the elements together, I said a silent prayer, hoping desperately that this would work.  While sticking that ridiculously thick, extremely long, inhumane needle into Kalee's leg, my heart felt as if it would beat right out of my chest. I quickly pulled it out of her thigh and waited... We waited and waited in hopes that Kalees blood sugar would rise quickly. After about ten minutes Kalee's glucose meter read 90... She was rising but it was not exactly the number that I had hoped for.. I was looking for a 150 to 170 and eventually after about an hour she made it to 154. When the Dr.'s office opened I took Kalee right in to be evaluated. The endocrinologist had no explanation as to why this happened. They have seen unexplained lows before but it is quite rare not to be able to get the blood sugar to rise.  The theory was delayed reaction to insulin and exercise... The only other explanation would be an adrenal condition and I am not ready to  deal with one more diagnosis right now so.... we will go with the delayed reaction theory.  After working closely with the endocrinologist for weeks we have made a number of adjustments which seem to be working for now. So we got through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years with lots and lots of carb. counting and measuring serving sizes.  Kalee turned "Sweet Sixteen"... a few days after her return to school from the holiday break.  We are now, embarking on an entirely new experience of driving.....!  She passed her drivers permit test the day of her birthday and is anxious to get out there behind the wheel.  I am certain that there will be lots to blog about when Kalee is actually stepping on the gas, but for now we will take that issue nice and slowly....  So, Happy New Year to all of you wonderful families out there.  If life with diabetes has been going smoothly for your family, then you are truly blessed, and I wish for all of you that things continue to work out that way.  If life, however, is a bit more topsy turvey and up and down like what we are experiencing in our house,  please know that you are not alone and I am walking through it with you.  My wish for 2014 is a Healthy Year for all of us, with hopes and prayers for embarking on one year closer to a cure.. xoxoxo!

Wishes for a Happy and Safe Halloween.. :D Uneventful in the world of Type 1 is always good too... ;)

Wow.. October came and went, in the blink of an eye.  How can it be that Halloween is actually tomorrow?  November is on the horizon which means the holidays are coming fast!!!  September was a month of trying to get back into the swing of things.  The dreadful routine of waking up at 5:30 a.m.  Packing lunches (slipping the carb. counts into the lunch bags) and trying to figure out how those crazy blood sugars are going to react to the school activities of the day.  October has been a very busy month... With sports winding down, we may be able to catch our breath before things get crazy again.  Kalee, my 15 year old has had diabetes for nine and a half years now.  In those almost ten years, I have never had to use a glucagon emergency injection.. (I guess there is a first time for everything).  About three weeks ago, following a vigorous soccer practice Kalee came home feeling low.  Her blood sugar was in the 60's so we gave her some sugar..  waited until she seemed to feel better, then she quickly jumped into the shower.  She came out feeling low again, so I immediately gave her orange juice.  She didn't look right as I held the cup to her mouth while she swallowed..  Kalee's eyes became glassy as I tested her blood sugar again.. The meter read 22.  As, I tried with all of my strength not to allow panic to set in, I quickly realized that Kalee was now unable to swallow any juice.  As I stirred about my kitchen fumbling for the cabinet where I keep the glucagon, I pleaded out loud...  "Please God, Please God, Please God". I had never used the glucagon before and as I tried to mix the liquid solution with the powdered substance my hands trembled like never before.  Thankfully,  after seconds of fumbling (which seemed like minutes).  I was able to get the solution into the vial and stick it into Kalee's thigh.  I was so shaken and praying that it would take effect immediately.  She began speaking within minutes but, I now could hardly speak.  Trying to pretend that I am fine with all of this is not easy and sometimes my acting skills go right out the window.  I closed my bedroom door and buried my head into my pillow for a ten minute sob...  I sobbed until my pillowcase was stained with black mascara then opened my bedroom door to retest Kalee's blood sugar.  She was a whopping 72... Not the number that I was hoping for but it was do-able.  I spoke with her Dr.'s who had us come in the next morning.  They were so calm and full of comforting words like, "You did the right thing,"  "Your doing a great job, " but I felt like a complete fail.  My head knew that this incident was not fault but my heart could not stop blaming myself.  Isn't that what we mom's are great at... blaming ourselves for things that are out of our control?  Needless to say, the Dr.'s helped me make some insulin/pump adjustments and although things are no where near perfect, we, thankfully, have not yet had any other scary incidences.  As a matter of fact, Kalee seemed perfectly fine, hours after, but I am still not quite right, weeks later.  As we get ready for Halloween, I am trying to focus on the positive.  This holiday can be tricky for families with Type 1 but somehow it always turns into a fun time.  We did our pumpkin carving last night and as always the pumpkin seeds are a favorite treat for the kiddo's to munch on.  I would like to wish all of my Type 1 Diabetes Families out there a Happy and Safe Halloween.  Try to find the joy and fun in the holiday even though all of those yummy/sweet carbs. can cause some parent anxiety...  ;)

Pumpkin Carving Pics:   FYI -  1/2 c of cooked pumpkins seeds = 7 carbs!!!  :)

Back to School... !

OMG...  It has been quite some time since I have posted. Not for lack of excitement in this house, but because we never seem to be able to sit long enough to catch our breath these days.  The kids headed back to school a week and a half ago.  At first the quiet was deafening but, as most parents know, that does not last very long.  (maybe an hour or two) LOL!  The week before school always brings on a bit of anxiety, as I meet with Kalee and Michael's teachers, to go over their diabetes care plans.  Most of the teachers are very open to taking the time to briefly go over the medical needs of the kids.  Then you get a few of the teachers that look at you as if you have ten heads.  Regardless...  as a mom, with two type 1 diabetics, I have learned to not be phased by the teachers that act as if I am wasting their time.  You develop a thick skin, really quickly, when it comes to your children's well-being....  So off to school they went as I said my silent prayer for an uneventful day (when it comes to the blood sugars.)  Thankfully, this year we did not have any first day of school omni-pods beeping with occlusions or unexplained hypo/hyperglycemic episodes..  That was all saved for the second day... ugh!!!  Oh well...  This is our life.  To many families, it may seem absurd but to ours this is the norm.  My hope for all of Type 1 families out there, is that "Back to School" was a smooth transition.  I know the worries over all the little things that can occur in Type 1 life can take it's toll on the parents. Yet somehow we survive!  ;)

                                                          
                                                                 Ready for school!!

How low can you go????

Last night, beginning at around 9 p.m Kalee began experiencing some unusual low blood sugars.  We could not pin point the reason..  There was no over bolusing, and she was doing some swimming and running earlier in the day, but nothing that would drop the blood sugar to 43 and keep it there for five hours.  I am not exaggerating, at all, when I say that we gave Kalee almost half a bottle of sugar tablets, 2 granola bars, crackers with peanut butter and jelly on them, 2 baggies of fruit snacks and 2 cups of orange juice (which my husband ran out at 1 a.m to purchase.) This was over a 4 hour time frame and her blood sugar would not go above 54.  I turned the insulin completely off (which I hate to do) and when she was still dropping, I pulled the pump right off of her, in fear that it had possibly malfunctioned and was still delivering.  It was not until about 2 a.m that she began to rise (only to 87)...  I continued checking her blood sugar throughout the night (or should I say, wee hours of the morning).  When she finally reached 100, I put another pod on her at the lowest basal of .05 and she still woke up in the 100 range??  I have absolutely no explanation for this.  Just when I think that I have experienced pretty much everything there is in the world of Type 1, something else gets thrown our way.  I will keep a close watch on Kalee throughout the day.  I was trying not to show my fear, but my anxiety was increasing with each blood sugar test that was not showing improvement.  I would like to say that I roll with the punches but some days (and nights) I would rather just punch something instead of actually rolling with them. ;)  Hope everyone has a nice weekend and any thoughts on what may have caused Kalee's outrageous lows are always welcome!

Happy Summer :)

Well....  It has been some time since I have posted last.  June was a bit of a whirlwind with final exams and end of the school year activities!  I welcome summer vacation, for sure.  No 5:30 a.m alarm clocks going off or teenage girls banging on the bathroom door to hurry each other up so everyones hair can be perfect...  (It's all about the hair in the morning, with the girls..lol).  Michael went to a Sugar Free Gang Camp (camp for children with diabetes)...  the last week in June.  He loves it and looks forward to going every year.  Kalee had gone for many years, as a matter of fact this was the first year that she opted out....  her explanation was, "I live diabetes every day, so I do not need one extra week in the summer to be reminded of it."  Sounds like a typical fifteen year old attitude to me... but, I do get where she is coming from ;)  Kalee has beeen keeping busy with soccer clinics, which seem to make her the most happy in the summer.  I would love to say that her blood sugars have been leveling off but....  NOT!!  The numbers go up and down like a roller coaster.  Our main problem is the actual omnipod itself.. It does not seem to be a great fit for her, with lots of occlusions or just plain falling off but since it is still the only wireless insulin pump out there, that is what she wants to stick with.  Michael is using it, as well, without many problems for the time being.... you all know how that goes :)  Kalee just got the new Dexcom continuous glucose meter....  it seems much more accurate than the original Dexcom 7 and it comes in funky colors, the shape of the i-pod nano, so it is slim and sleek enough to fit nicely into a pocket.  So far so good with it although Kalee is still not big on having more than one gadget stuck into her....  and I can't say that I blame her. So that currently brings you all up to date as to where we are this summer.  Our plans are to head on down to Disney in August.  I am hesitant about the drive with the issue's that I still have with my back but....  I know for sure, that a vacation is definitley welcome for our family.  This may be the last year that we can do the August Disney Vacation because, our oldest daughter, Macy, will be starting college in 2014.  Senior year in the high school begins for her this coming September, which is just wild to me....  So I hope that everyone is having a safe and happy summer with little to no issue's in the world of Type 1D.  xoxo <3

Michael (blue shirt)- Holding up 1 word puzzle pieces showing how Type1 makes them feel.

A New Normal....

I do not have the exact words to express what our family has been through over the past month.  We lost our young, beautiful, kind hearted, always smiling, cousin Chrissy, after a courageous battle with breast cancer.  She was  a wonderful wife, mother, daughter, "aunt" to my children and "sister" to me.  Chrissy was my first morning phone call and my last "Good Night" text after a busy day of doing the stay-at-home mom things that we stay-at-home moms do.  You know, the cooking, cleaning, taxi-drivers of the world that help with homework, balance the check book, kiss the bruises and wipe the tears.  Our lives have been changed forever and we now have the daunting task of trying to develop a "New Normal." The "Normal" as we knew it has been taken from us and trying to come up with the answers to "Why?" has been unrelenting.  My own faith felt shaken by this tragedy that has devastated my family...  As I stood at Chrissy's graveside today, looking up toward heaven asking God..."Where are you in all of this?" I felt so broken and alone.  I have been searching for comfort in this storm of grief.  A passage in a book that I have been reading spoke to me clear as day: A quote from Choosing to See, by Marybeth Chapman, "As I took a walk on the beach, I cried out to God.  How?"...  Here is what I heard....  How? By remembering that I am God and your trust has to rely completely on Me...  no striving of your own will to fix, heal, cure, help, calm any of what you see as a mess. I allow what I allow for reasons you can't even comprehend... rest.. you won't figure this out."  That passage spoke to me.  Focusing on the why's and the how's is not part of God's plan for us.  There are situations that God allows to happen in our lives that we will never be able to understand.  My family's heart is broken.  It is so easy for us to get washed away in the "Why's" we must instead trust God and hold on to the promise that we will be with Chrissy again some day.  Thus the undaunting task of creating a "New Normal" in our world that will never be the same without her.

Out Of Our Control.... "The Big Picture"

"Out of our control"... What is the "Big Picture?"  This is an issue that has literally slapped me in the face over the past few weeks.  Our family has been struggling with some personal health issues....  attacking not one but a few of us and it forces me to realize that as much as I try....  I cannot control every aspect of life.  My children who are so precious to me are truly in the hands of God, (and there are no better hands than His) but.. as much as I wish that I could "fix" everything for them.....  that is not the way life works.  I can't always fix the health issues or the heart aches and trials that we all seem to go through at some point in our life.  I haven't even been able to fix my own struggles as of lately...  and I am putting it out there friends...  I have truly been struggling myself recently.  I am certain that life has climbed on me and as much as I would like to think that this has happened overnight...  I realize that I have been struggling for months maybe even years....  Could it be that two of my children have been diagnosed with Type 1??   Absolutely..  Could it be that I worry, at times, about my oldest getting it?? Certainly....  Or could it just be that I have been struggling with my own personal issues which have lead to one very anxious woman who realizes.....  that everything is feeling out of control....  I am learning with each day that I really need to turn "Everything" over to God...  Which if you know me you have to know that this is something that "Mrs. Fix It" truly struggles with.  We are all human and as much as I wish I could share that I have it all together all of the time, those of you who know me can attest to the fact that I do not... I feel that I need to share this for others that are going through struggles and fears that are simply "Out of our control." You know the saying/song...  "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.."  Well...  I am not so certain that those words are absolutely true but  I do feel that the struggles and trials in life happen for a reason..  I wish that I had the answers for so many "Why?" questions but I do believe there is a "Big Picture," that isn't always revealed to us in our timing ... <3  xoxo