Typical Type 1 Thanksgiving... "For our family anyway ;)"

Well, what began as a very nice Thanksgiving turned into a bit of a diabetic crisis this evening.  As we sat around a lovely table enjoying our feast with family, my son, Michael, came to me to say that he had finished his dinner and was ready to move on to dessert.  I took his omnipod out of my purse to cover for all of the delicious carbs. that he had devoured.  As I programmed the carbohydrate count into the omnipod, the pdm read... "PDM failure, Insulin delivery stopped, change pod now."  along with a 1-800 #  to contact.  As you can imagine, I became so frustrated.  I mean really....  what timing! Couldn't this have happened on an uneventful day at home??   NO!!!..  It had to happen while we were visiting family for Thanksgiving, right after a huge meal.  I quickly got up from the table and contacted the 800 number.  The customer service rep. was apologetic and gave me instructions on how to reset the pdm.  Suddenly the pdm began flashing on and off with lines through it.  Oh my gosh...  something was very wrong with this pump!  The customer service rep explained that the pump had absolutely failed.  Michael was getting no insulin.  I went into a brief panic then got myself together enough to remember that I had an extra pdm at home.  I quickly found the car keys and headed out the door to my house..  (only 10 minutes away, thankfully.)  At home, I grabbed the new pdm, pod, needles, extra Novelog, even Lantus, just in case I could not get the new pdm to work, (Although the scary thing is...  it has been so long since we have used Lantus, I was unsure how many units to safely administer).  I had placed my notebook with Michael's info on the settings such as basals, carb to insulin ratios, and correction factors in such a safe place that even I could not find it!  Panic!  I had to guess on all of Michael's settings as I programmed this pdm.  As I sat in a room full of people trying to think clearly, I realized that not one person in the room could help me and I felt so completely alone, knowing that I was the only one that could fix this for my son.. and praying that I would do it accurately.  I pretended to be calm but my flushed face and the hives on my chest were giving my "fake calm" away.  Michael's pod was changed, his blood sugar was tested and his pdm was set up, but hours later, the lump in my throat still remained, as did the hives.  We are home now, and Michael is tucked into bed for the night.  He seems to have not a care in the world. I am thankful that my anxiety did not affect him this evening...  So tonight, while most of the world sleeps,  I will be continuously checking my sons blood sugar to be sure that the settings I have programmed into the pdm were close to accurate...  I wish it could have been a drama free Thanksgiving but then again....  all of the Type 1 parents understand that this is just part of our reality!!  Happy Thanksgiving everyone....  I am still keeping my hopes up for a "Crisis free Christmas"...  ;)

Thankfulness.. Not for Type 1 but, for some of the lessons that have come from it ....

I am thankful for so many things but the hustle and bustle of every day life in general can cause one to lose sight of  that which truly matters.  I will never say that I am grateful for Type 1 diabetes because I AM NOT.  Although I can actually say that Type 1 has taught me some valuable lessons along the way.  When my daughter was diagnosed eight years ago it put life into perspective.  The material/frivolous "things"  no longer mattered.  My focus was entirely on my family.  I realized that in a blink on an eye...  life could change.  Our world was changed forever over night. Type 1 also gave me a sense of what is actually "important" in life.  I no longer cared so much as to what others thought of me.... My days of out to please people were over.  It became about doing what was good for my family and this has seemed to work out for us over the years.  Type 1 has a way of causing you to not worry so much about the laundry, the bills, and the plumbing problems (Lord knows we have plumbing problems).....  At the end of the day all of those issues will still be there... But the moments that we cherish with our family are not guaranteed to any of us.  So...  I will take the lessons that I have learned from my children's diagnosis of Type 1 and try to better myself from them...  I can actually say that I am grateful for these life lessons but I will NEVER say that I am grateful for Type 1 diabetes... just for the valuable lessons that have come along with it!  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.... enjoy the Turkey! It's free in carbs....;)

"A Free Pass"... would be nice ;)

Doesn't it seem that with everything that children with Type 1 have to go through on a daily basis;  they should have a "free pass" for things to come a little easier for them?  Well, I feel, as a mom, that life in general should go smoother for these kids but unfortunately life definitely does not work this way.  I had my son Michael's 6th grade parent teacher conference today.  It was full of lots of  "Michael is a wonderful child," "Michael does so well," "Michael is so kind," comments, which could not make a mom more proud but, my sweet boy Michael has had to work extremely hard for everything that comes to him.  The one statement that was repeated by his teacher was, "Michael works so hard at everything that he does."  As a parent, I couldn't ask for more effort than what  he puts forth... Studying and time put into homework that brings us into some very late nights. As I sat there listening to the teachers speak so positively of Michael...  I couldn't help but fill up with tears...  I tried desperately to hold them back, as not to look like a crazy, over-emotional mother.  In my head all I kept thinking was...  "He should not have to work so hard for this."  Of  course, I did not say that, but having to see all that my eleven year old has to go through every day just caring for his diabetes..... in my heart of hearts I feel like he should have a "free pass" for things to come easy!  It sounds absolutely ridiculous, I'm sure, to some of you out there.  We are so proud of Michael efforts  but.... for my "baby"  who goes through so much with his health alone...  I WANT LIFE TO BE EASY!!  All of the adults reading this are laughing, I'm sure, as having lived life a little everyone knows that it is not always fair but I am just expressing the feelings of a mom that wishes with all of her heart that she could take this disease from her children and carry the entire burden of it herself..  No parents, life certainly is not easy but all that I hope and pray for (besides a cure) is that my Michael's hard work will make him appreciate all of the positive that comes from his effort....  But it still doesn't take away from the fact that as a mom who sees first hand the daily struggles that these totally resilient kids have to go through every day, I wish more than anything that they all could get a "Free Pass" for the other aspects of life to come a little easier.  Unfortunately life does not work this way and because it doesn't I find that that these Type 1 kids have a strength within them that goes deeper than I can comprehend.  They are the  most admirable of all....  but a "free pass" wouldn't be so bad, Now would it?? ;) 

Technology... When it works it's terrific, but when it doesn't.. What havic!!! :(

Okay....  so things seemed to be going well last night.  The kids got settled in at a fairly decent hour and everyones blood sugar seemed to be under control.  I woke up at about 1 a.m to check on Michael and Kalee.  Michael's blood sugar was a perfect 130 (perfect in my book for sleeping) and Kalee's continuous glucose meter (Dexcom) read 164 (a little on the high side but still decent).  I decided not to correct and check in an hour to see if she would come down on her own.  About an hour later I woke up and saw that Kalee's Dexcom still read in the 160 range...  for some reason, I decided to do a quick finger stick so that I could rest peacfully...  The meter read 374!....  ARE YOU KIDDING ME???  How could the Dexcom be so off from her actual blood sugar?  I decided to check it again, after cleaning off her finger with an alcohol swab, in hopes that maybe a lotion or a soap was causing the high reading. NOPE... 376, okay...  it is not the finger stick that is the problem it is the continous glucose meter!!  UGH!!  When technology works it is a God send but when it doesn't it can really wreak havic.  Of course, this is typical, that it is occuring at 2 a.m and not in the middle of the day...  Why does everything have to happen at night (or the wee hours of the morning)?  Really, is it not meant for us moms to sleep?  Even when the kids were small, everything always happened at night, the fevers, the earaches, the croupy coughs!  So now here I am with my 14 year old daughter still up at night!  First I acted quickly and gave her an injection of novelog...  to be certain that she was getting insulin. Then, I changed her omnipod... Now it was time to change out her Dexcom only to wake in two more hours to calibrate it!!!! Thats technology for you.  Sometimes it can make your life less complicated and more convenient and other times it can be a disaster!!  By 5 a.m Kalee's blood sugar was already down to 174.  The Dexcom was reading accuratly and the omnipod seemed to be administering the insulin accordingly so....  at 6:30 a.m Kalee was feeling good and getting ready for school...  packing up her meters and recievers... almost as if nothing had gone haywire 4 hours prior.  Type 1 has a way of making me think I am losing my mind sometimes..  Well,  I am glad that Kalee is feeling well and all of her gadgets are working properly.  As for myself....  I will plug away through the day in hopes that technology will come through for us tonight so that we all can actually get some sleep!! 

Halloween... A Little Less Tricky and A Little More Treaty Would Be Nice!

Halloween Party

Macy and Kalee :)

Thing 2 with Olympic Gold Medalist ;)

With Halloween just around the corner,  I thought I'd write a little something about those days, when the kids were small.  The days of Halloween parades and parties at school.  I don't dread the holiday as much as I used to but when the kids were little I would be running from one floor of the school to the other floor of the school trying to play "Super Mom -Classroom Parent"  while counting candy, cupcake, and cookie carbs..  or should I say making up carb. counts, because I could not possibly keep track of what everyone was putting into their mouths.  I would break out into a cold sweat just knowing what the day ahead was going to bring ...  The kids were full of excitment, so I would paste a smile on my face pretending to be thrilled with the Halloween Festivities that were to come, but I knew that I had a long night ahead of me, fixing blood sugars that I could not realistically keep up with on party day!  That's the thing with Type 1...  it has a sneaky way of taking the fun out of things that are supposed to be a blast..  Not really for the children.  I tried not to allow that....  Halloween was a "free pass" day for them, to enjoy the candy and treats without fear of mom saying "no" to all of the yummy's that they wanted to fill their tummy with.  I am talking about the fun that is taken from the parents who have to swallow the lump in their throat and do the best they can just to keep their childrens blood sugar in a "safe" range. That was my goal on Halloween...  "Not a great blood sugar but a safe blood sugar"....  Now that the kids are older I embrace the holiday a little more than I used to.  There are no more Halloween parades.. Michael still has a little party at school, but nothing too overwhelming....  We will carve our pumpkins (and eat up the pumpkin seeds)-1/2c is about 3 to 3.5 carbs....  The kids will dress up in costume (even my teenagers...  they love the dress up more than my eleven year old does)... and will head out to do some trick-or-treating.  The candy that comes home gets sorted into what we like to eat and what we don't like.  The "like" pile gets put into our big candy bowl and we will treat ourselves to some sweet each day until it is all eaten up... Which doesn't take more than a few days since my husband has little control of his sweet tooth :)  So....  for all of you families out there with Type 1 kids and Halloween on the horizon...  I know exactly what you are going through...  The mixed emotion of excitment for the kids and the overwhelming emotion of the work that is in store for you.  Very soon.... your little one's will get bigger and even though it certainly is not an easy road.....  The Trick-or-Treats will become a little less tricky and a little more treaty for your family;)...  Good luck and Happy Halloween!!

Roller Coaster of a Night.....

 Well, last night seemed a little more hectic than the usual. (But nothing too out of the ordinary for this household).  My daughter, Kalee had a soccer game, so I did the normal routine of checking my son Michael's homework before I left him with my oldest daughter Macy to head out to watch Kalee play.  (My husband is away for business so we could not tag team as we usually do)..  Things seemed fine at the game, although Kalee's omnipod got knocked off  twice, which has become a normal occurrence when she plays.... When did soccer become such a physical contact sport??  What happened to just kicking the ball??  As you can probably tell the athlete in Kalee did not come from her mother :)  After the game I needed to get home to cook dinner but Kalee was asked to stay with her team for pizza and watch the Varsity girls last home game for "Senior Night".  I was uneasy with leaving her at the field because the blood sugars go a little haywire after a soccer game but...  she tested and was at a stable 148 so I agreed that she could stay, eat pizza, call me once, and I would pick her up by 7:30, about an hour and a half later.  I came home put dinner on the table, cleaned up and stared at the clock until Kalee called.  I picked her up and she was fine (or so I thought).  We were home and I took a deep breath...  All of the kids were getting settled in for the night and I felt that I could finally relax...  The girls finished up homework and studying by 10:00 p.m. Michael had been asleep since 9:00...   Things seemed calm, then I reminded Kalee to test her blood sugar before bed.  She said she was feeling like she was dropping and her blood sugar was 80 so she grabbed a juice and lowered her backround insulin (basal), then went to sleep.  I checked her at 11:30 p.m just as I was about to hit the pillow and she seemed clammy... Her blood sugar was 44.  I woke her, gave her two juices (thinking that I would fix the high later)...  and went into my bedroom to rest for maybe about twenty minutes before I tested her again.  My eyes were getting heavy but I was certain that in a little while Kalee's blood sugar would rise, then I could sleep.  When I checked her at about midnight she had dropped even lower to an unbelievable 34 (and that was after the two juice boxes that I had given her a half an hour earlier)...  UGH!!!  This was not going to be a good night :(   I lowered her basal to practically nothing, gave her some sugar tablets and fruit snacks (all while she was half asleep) and waited....  I hoped that she would begin to rise but 30 minutes later she was sitting at 60...  not a good enough increase for me to go to sleep.  I did not want to turn her insulin off but I was beginning to contemplate that...  I adjusted the omnipod to the lowest basal that I could and gave her more juice, waited, and prayed.....  This went on until about 4 a.m.  For some reason unknown to me Kalee's blood sugar did not want to rise.  By 4:30 she was up to 90 (still with minimal backround insulin).  I fell asleep until 5:30 a.m when the alarm startled me into a shaken frenzy.  I thought for sure that Kalee's blood sugar would shoot up and be at least 300 from the affects of all of the sugar throughout the night but at 6 a.m her blood sugar was only 86...  I was stumped..  Some how, some way for some reason it seemed to me that Kalee's body was kicking out some of it's own insulin....  If only it would have stayed.... :(   God love her though, she woke up like a champion and headed out the door to school after a night of completely disrupted sleep without one complaint.  By lunch time Kalee had texted me that her blood sugar was rising and she was almost at 200 so we put her regular basal (backround insulin) back into place...  No explanation for what had occurred the night before just part of the the roller coaster ride that Type 1 takes us on from time to time... ;p

Take Time to Take Care of YOURSELF...

I recently have been suffering from back/leg pain that has become quite debilitating.  When I say recently, I should probably clarify that the nagging pain began about 8 months ago.  As we mom's tend to do..  I managed to ignore it and continued to push on with a weekly bottle of Advil (not recommended) and sneakers (instead of high heels).  Throughout the summer the pain became a constant and by August it was obvious that I needed to seek medical advice. I put off seeing the Dr. until the kids returned to school in September...  By this time I could hardly walk or stand for more than a half and hour without a shooting pain that wanted to knock me off of my feet!  After a few x-rays and an MRI it was confirmed that I have a severely herniated disc with broken fragments hitting a multitude of nerves in my back and legs.  Following a consult with a neuro-surgeon (that was interrupted by two phone calls from each of the kids at school with low blood sugars)  I realized very quickly that I HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS!!  As the Dr. began talking surgery I felt the color drain from my face.  This surgery requires a few days in the hospital for recovery and this mom cannot afford to be in the hospital recovering when there are blood sugars to be tested an omnipods to fill:( I made it quite clear that I was willing to attempt every other option before even considering surgery.  I really need to be home for the kids...  I am kicking myself now for putting off and putting off caring for my own self.   How can I be of use to my children if I am stuck in a hospital bed??!!  Here I was  trying not to pay attention to the warning signs of something that could  have possibly been prevented by some physical therapy and rest if I had taken some time out for me and now because of my stubborn "No one can take care of things like I can," attitude, I am facing surgery.  When the Dr. mentioned a few days recovery my first thought was, Who will take care of the kids?. I don't mean cloths, food, showers, homework they are all self-sufficient enough to take care of those immediate needs.  I am referring to the night time lows and the the 3 a.m highs.  The daily insulin corrections..  and the carb. counting.  This is a real fear of mine.  I have depended only on myself to do these things and now I am in a jam.  My husband can certainly take on the task for a few days but this month of all months he is off to another state for business...  only home on the weekends...  There is a lesson to be learned here moms....  Take care of yourself and let people help you!  I have never felt that anyone could care for the kids as well as I could and because of my self-righteous attitude I am in a real jam!!  If I had only accepted help along the way this issue might have been only a bump in the road but unfortunately it is now a huge dilemma of who will take care of my children's diabetic needs while I am recovering....   I will hope and pray that more conservative medical measures will alleviate some of the pain and nerve damage....  Please learn from my mistake moms!!  Take time to take care of yourselves;)