Halloween... A Little Less Tricky and A Little More Treaty Would Be Nice!

Halloween Party

Macy and Kalee :)

Thing 2 with Olympic Gold Medalist ;)

With Halloween just around the corner,  I thought I'd write a little something about those days, when the kids were small.  The days of Halloween parades and parties at school.  I don't dread the holiday as much as I used to but when the kids were little I would be running from one floor of the school to the other floor of the school trying to play "Super Mom -Classroom Parent"  while counting candy, cupcake, and cookie carbs..  or should I say making up carb. counts, because I could not possibly keep track of what everyone was putting into their mouths.  I would break out into a cold sweat just knowing what the day ahead was going to bring ...  The kids were full of excitment, so I would paste a smile on my face pretending to be thrilled with the Halloween Festivities that were to come, but I knew that I had a long night ahead of me, fixing blood sugars that I could not realistically keep up with on party day!  That's the thing with Type 1...  it has a sneaky way of taking the fun out of things that are supposed to be a blast..  Not really for the children.  I tried not to allow that....  Halloween was a "free pass" day for them, to enjoy the candy and treats without fear of mom saying "no" to all of the yummy's that they wanted to fill their tummy with.  I am talking about the fun that is taken from the parents who have to swallow the lump in their throat and do the best they can just to keep their childrens blood sugar in a "safe" range. That was my goal on Halloween...  "Not a great blood sugar but a safe blood sugar"....  Now that the kids are older I embrace the holiday a little more than I used to.  There are no more Halloween parades.. Michael still has a little party at school, but nothing too overwhelming....  We will carve our pumpkins (and eat up the pumpkin seeds)-1/2c is about 3 to 3.5 carbs....  The kids will dress up in costume (even my teenagers...  they love the dress up more than my eleven year old does)... and will head out to do some trick-or-treating.  The candy that comes home gets sorted into what we like to eat and what we don't like.  The "like" pile gets put into our big candy bowl and we will treat ourselves to some sweet each day until it is all eaten up... Which doesn't take more than a few days since my husband has little control of his sweet tooth :)  So....  for all of you families out there with Type 1 kids and Halloween on the horizon...  I know exactly what you are going through...  The mixed emotion of excitment for the kids and the overwhelming emotion of the work that is in store for you.  Very soon.... your little one's will get bigger and even though it certainly is not an easy road.....  The Trick-or-Treats will become a little less tricky and a little more treaty for your family;)...  Good luck and Happy Halloween!!

Roller Coaster of a Night.....

 Well, last night seemed a little more hectic than the usual. (But nothing too out of the ordinary for this household).  My daughter, Kalee had a soccer game, so I did the normal routine of checking my son Michael's homework before I left him with my oldest daughter Macy to head out to watch Kalee play.  (My husband is away for business so we could not tag team as we usually do)..  Things seemed fine at the game, although Kalee's omnipod got knocked off  twice, which has become a normal occurrence when she plays.... When did soccer become such a physical contact sport??  What happened to just kicking the ball??  As you can probably tell the athlete in Kalee did not come from her mother :)  After the game I needed to get home to cook dinner but Kalee was asked to stay with her team for pizza and watch the Varsity girls last home game for "Senior Night".  I was uneasy with leaving her at the field because the blood sugars go a little haywire after a soccer game but...  she tested and was at a stable 148 so I agreed that she could stay, eat pizza, call me once, and I would pick her up by 7:30, about an hour and a half later.  I came home put dinner on the table, cleaned up and stared at the clock until Kalee called.  I picked her up and she was fine (or so I thought).  We were home and I took a deep breath...  All of the kids were getting settled in for the night and I felt that I could finally relax...  The girls finished up homework and studying by 10:00 p.m. Michael had been asleep since 9:00...   Things seemed calm, then I reminded Kalee to test her blood sugar before bed.  She said she was feeling like she was dropping and her blood sugar was 80 so she grabbed a juice and lowered her backround insulin (basal), then went to sleep.  I checked her at 11:30 p.m just as I was about to hit the pillow and she seemed clammy... Her blood sugar was 44.  I woke her, gave her two juices (thinking that I would fix the high later)...  and went into my bedroom to rest for maybe about twenty minutes before I tested her again.  My eyes were getting heavy but I was certain that in a little while Kalee's blood sugar would rise, then I could sleep.  When I checked her at about midnight she had dropped even lower to an unbelievable 34 (and that was after the two juice boxes that I had given her a half an hour earlier)...  UGH!!!  This was not going to be a good night :(   I lowered her basal to practically nothing, gave her some sugar tablets and fruit snacks (all while she was half asleep) and waited....  I hoped that she would begin to rise but 30 minutes later she was sitting at 60...  not a good enough increase for me to go to sleep.  I did not want to turn her insulin off but I was beginning to contemplate that...  I adjusted the omnipod to the lowest basal that I could and gave her more juice, waited, and prayed.....  This went on until about 4 a.m.  For some reason unknown to me Kalee's blood sugar did not want to rise.  By 4:30 she was up to 90 (still with minimal backround insulin).  I fell asleep until 5:30 a.m when the alarm startled me into a shaken frenzy.  I thought for sure that Kalee's blood sugar would shoot up and be at least 300 from the affects of all of the sugar throughout the night but at 6 a.m her blood sugar was only 86...  I was stumped..  Some how, some way for some reason it seemed to me that Kalee's body was kicking out some of it's own insulin....  If only it would have stayed.... :(   God love her though, she woke up like a champion and headed out the door to school after a night of completely disrupted sleep without one complaint.  By lunch time Kalee had texted me that her blood sugar was rising and she was almost at 200 so we put her regular basal (backround insulin) back into place...  No explanation for what had occurred the night before just part of the the roller coaster ride that Type 1 takes us on from time to time... ;p

Take Time to Take Care of YOURSELF...

I recently have been suffering from back/leg pain that has become quite debilitating.  When I say recently, I should probably clarify that the nagging pain began about 8 months ago.  As we mom's tend to do..  I managed to ignore it and continued to push on with a weekly bottle of Advil (not recommended) and sneakers (instead of high heels).  Throughout the summer the pain became a constant and by August it was obvious that I needed to seek medical advice. I put off seeing the Dr. until the kids returned to school in September...  By this time I could hardly walk or stand for more than a half and hour without a shooting pain that wanted to knock me off of my feet!  After a few x-rays and an MRI it was confirmed that I have a severely herniated disc with broken fragments hitting a multitude of nerves in my back and legs.  Following a consult with a neuro-surgeon (that was interrupted by two phone calls from each of the kids at school with low blood sugars)  I realized very quickly that I HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS!!  As the Dr. began talking surgery I felt the color drain from my face.  This surgery requires a few days in the hospital for recovery and this mom cannot afford to be in the hospital recovering when there are blood sugars to be tested an omnipods to fill:( I made it quite clear that I was willing to attempt every other option before even considering surgery.  I really need to be home for the kids...  I am kicking myself now for putting off and putting off caring for my own self.   How can I be of use to my children if I am stuck in a hospital bed??!!  Here I was  trying not to pay attention to the warning signs of something that could  have possibly been prevented by some physical therapy and rest if I had taken some time out for me and now because of my stubborn "No one can take care of things like I can," attitude, I am facing surgery.  When the Dr. mentioned a few days recovery my first thought was, Who will take care of the kids?. I don't mean cloths, food, showers, homework they are all self-sufficient enough to take care of those immediate needs.  I am referring to the night time lows and the the 3 a.m highs.  The daily insulin corrections..  and the carb. counting.  This is a real fear of mine.  I have depended only on myself to do these things and now I am in a jam.  My husband can certainly take on the task for a few days but this month of all months he is off to another state for business...  only home on the weekends...  There is a lesson to be learned here moms....  Take care of yourself and let people help you!  I have never felt that anyone could care for the kids as well as I could and because of my self-righteous attitude I am in a real jam!!  If I had only accepted help along the way this issue might have been only a bump in the road but unfortunately it is now a huge dilemma of who will take care of my children's diabetic needs while I am recovering....   I will hope and pray that more conservative medical measures will alleviate some of the pain and nerve damage....  Please learn from my mistake moms!!  Take time to take care of yourselves;)

Baby Steps.....

Every since my children were first diagnosed with Type 1...   I have periodically gone through "A thing," you could say, where I just want to keep them close to me...  This does not fare well with my 14 year old as you can imagine, and she has managed to break through my barrier and branch out.  Allowing someone else to be responsible for any of my children has been a huge struggle for me especially during their younger years.  I am not referring to school.  I am fairly (not completely) comfortable with sending them to their place of instruction every day where there are health officials on staff, and full day supervision.. (definitely more supervision in the lower grade level schools rather than the high school).  I am talking about the extracurricular activities,  sleepovers (which I still have a hard time with), birthday parties,  just simple play dates have become almost a nervous breakdown for me, at times.  I had managed to come up with excuse after excuse why the kids could not make it to these events when they were small, but as they got older it became more difficult.  The inevitable happened, where the kids developed a mind of their own...  and they wanted to go! ;)  My, Michael, has a birthday party to go to this evening and I can not help thinking....  "What if he forgets to call me with the food that he eats?"  "What if he does not take the time to test his blood sugar before cake?" "What if he drinks the regular soda instead of diet?"  "What if he goes low and does not want to take the time to treat?"  What if, What if, What if!!!  I mean really....  Michael will be gone for 2-1/2 hours and I am having "A thing"...  I continuously tell myself..."Mary, you have to let him go." but, I think having something traumatic happen in your life changes a persons way of thinking.  Some people may disagree, but having my children diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, is on the top of my list of traumatic things that have happened in my life.  Not to mention,  Michael is "The Baby" in the house which makes me want to hover a little more.   He will go to the party this evening and the odds are in his favor that everything will turn out fine.  This is just one of my struggles that I must work on daily.... Letting Michael go tonight may seem like "Baby Steps" to most people, but I would consider this to be a GINORMOUS step in my world...  ;)

Hours Later....

Well Michael went to the party and all seemed well... He called me 2X's with the food that he had eaten.  When we picked him up he looked a little glassy eyed to me.. A look that was all too familiar  but that no one else would notice unless they had encountered it before.  In the car he was talking but seemed a little grouchy which is not his demeanor at all...  When we got home I quickly tested Michael (against his will)...  The meter read "low"which indicates that his blood sugar was too low to give an accurate read.  He was insisting that he felt high and refused fruit snacks and juice...  even a granola bar (I was desperate and offered anything that he might like).  He wanted strawberries and water...  Not enough sugar at all, but the berries were a start...  He ate them and I was able to coerce him into eating a popsicle as well...  Once Michael's blood sugar hit a whopping 65, his sweet little personality came back... Episodes like this, which happened tonight, cause me to continue to go through "My Thing" of always wanting to keep the kids with me... (Unrealistic, I know, but it's just the way I feel.) Michael is fine now and all turned out well,  but I do not foresee these "Ginormous Steps" of letting my children go every becoming easy little "Baby Steps" for me in the near future..  :(

High Heels and Homecoming....

Okay...  so here we go!  Off to high school and having fun!  Tonight is the Homecoming Dance.  My daughters and their friends have been looking forward to going since the start of school.  The dresses, shoes, jewelry have been purchased but now....  back to our world....Where will I wear my pod??  Question number one comes up as Kalee tries on her fitted dress that doesn't leave much room for a clunky insulin filled pod stuck to your stomach.  Try lower, try higher, try more toward the hip....  is my reply, as we try desperately to find an inconspicuous spot!!!  Okay, first problem solved... we will put it closer to the hip..  Now how about the sensor which is on the stomach...  Let's try to stretch the dress a little bit in the stomach area so that sensor doesn't pop right through...  Where will I put my pdm monitor and test strips???  In your small black purse with your phone I reply.... Is the purse big enough?  We'll make it fit....  These are the little issues that have a way of putting a damper on something that is supposed to be fun and exiting....  Kalee is still wearing a big smile on her face but then realizes...  no room for the sugar tablet bottle in her purse!!  No problem, we will put tablets in a plastic baggie and squish them in there....  The smile fades a little bit.   I tell her not to allow all of this to take the fun out of her night.  In my heart I really want to say.....  don't forget to test at least once (preferably twice), lower your basal if you have more than one low.....  and call me!!!  Instead I smile, give her a hug and tell her to be wise, and have fun.  Heart wrenching for me.  I would love to be right there with Kalee making sure that she is doing everything that I have taught her over the years  but...  the reality of it is....  I am not going to be able to be over her shoulder every minute for the rest of her life.  A very tough reality for this mom to accept.  So, as my daughter heads off to her first Homecoming Dance ... I must step back and silently pray that she takes what I have taught her and makes wise decisions not only relating to her blood sugar but to life choices in general....  (It helps to know that her older sister will be there keeping an eye on things as well;)  High heels and Homecoming...  here we come!!

Kalee posing with Michael before the dance.

Macy and Kalee all ready for Homecoming...

 

Report Card Day.... A1C

Well tomorrow is our three month appointment, when I take the kids to the endocrinologist for their A1C blood test.  I can't help but to get knots in my stomach whenever this day comes.  I have always felt as if the kids A1C is a report card as to how I am doing with controlling their blood sugars.   Over the years (especially when Kalee was little) the A1C's ranged between 6.2 to 6.8... (a good range in the world of Type1 D) Michael's have remained nicely controlled for now but, as adolescence creeps up, so do the A1C's.  We have been seeing between 7.1 to 8.5 over the past year with our teenager.  I would be lying if I did not admit that these gradual increases trouble me. My heart, now, skips a beat when the phone rings with the lab results.  I mean... really, What is the matter with me??  Do I think that the Dr. is going to put a big FAIL on my forehead when the A1C's increase??   I know that logically this makes no sense at all. As much as I tell my brain to stop..  I just can't seem to... We have wonderful Dr's that have always given positive feedback regarding the labs yet...  I tend to want to beat myself up over the increases that come along with growth spurts and hormones...  I am going to try to take a deep breath and accept the fact that I am doing the best that I can....  My teenager is taking on a little more of the responsibility.  Letting go, even a little bit, has been difficult. Teaching our children independence is what we parents strive for, right?? .... Although, with their health, independence, adds a different dimension to the equation.  As I go to sleep tonight, anticipating tomorrows Dr. appt...  I know, with confidence that I have put my greatest effort into getting a "good grade" on "report card day."   That is the best I have to offer...;)  I applaud all of the mom's out there putting their energy into keeping their children healthy...  Even if the A1C's aren't the greatest we should most certainly receive an A+ for effort!!!

The Things that People Say....

People try sometimes a little too hard to say the "right" things, with the intent, I suppose, to comfort.  Some words that I wish I could have forgotten have remained imprinted in my mind.  I remember one particular incident when Kalee was first diagnosed...  We were in the hospital and a nurse had come to take her blood.  She stuck her two times and was going in for a third when I told her "No more," and asked to please get someone else to try.... We have rights.. and no will advocate for a child like their parent.  She must have been insulted by my request and said with a smile on her face, "Well, with diabetes she will have to get used to needles."  I asked her to please leave the room...  When she left, I thought to myself, "Who would say something so insensitive in front of a six year old child?" I had no idea, at the time, that her words would be the first of many, "Things that people say," that cause me to question if people really consider the words that come out of their mouths.  I cannot count how often I have had to hear over the years, "God doesn't give us anything more than we can handle." Now, I am a very religious person, relying on my faith to get through any struggle that I am facing, but I have to tell you that no where in the bible have I ever found a passage saying that "God doesn't give us anything more than we can handle".... With each of our children's diagnosis I can say for sure that I felt that I was definitely dealing with much more than I could handle!  Another moment that comes to mind was a morning when I ran out to Target to get the essentials...  from laundry detergent to socks....  I just love Target.. it's a one stop shop!  While I was picking up some necessities I ran into a woman that I hadn't seen in quite some time.  When I asked how she and her family had been her response to me was this... "Well, I have good days and bad days but no matter how bad it gets I tell myself life could be worse it could be like yours with the sick children...."  Talk about dumb founded.  How was I suppose to respond to that? I felt like someone had just kicked me in the stomach.  I smiled and politely excused myself then left the shopping cart in the middle isle to run to my car and cry.... Over the years I have developed a thicker skin and now believe it or not I actually find some humor in the ridiculous things that people will say.  It is inevitable that as mom's with diabetic children we will have to hear many times comments like "Your child shouldn't be eating that."or...  "I knew someone who grew out of their diabetes."..  This is an all time favorite..  "My Great Grandfathers cousin got diabetes when he was seventy-five and had to takes a pill that helps him."  It used to frustrate me when people would make these remarks but over the years I have learned to grin and bear it.  Some people don't know what to say (so it would really be best to say nothing at all).  Some just do not have any knowledge about Type 1.  Take it in stride mom's.... (although this can be difficult) Look at the interesting writing material that can come from the ridiculous and sometimes insensitive..."Things That People Say..."   ;)