Rolling with The Punches..... :/

I must first apologize for not blogging in a very very long time! I guess I might say that every day life got quite chaotic over the past 8 months. The kids r doing well. With my oldest daughter, Macy finishing up her first year of college. Yay!! How can that even have happened? My daughter Kalee's Junior year of High School is winding down.. Complete with SAT's, which she took last weekend. I almost forgot the pressure of Junior Year, along with the excitement of Junior Prom and College Shopping! I certainly cannot leave out my youngest boy, Michael, who will be 14 next month!  He is finishing up 8th grade and will be entering the high school.. Now that does not even seem possible. My daughter Kalee and son Michael have had many ups and downs (highs and lows) over the past school year with dealing with their health and Type1 Diabetes. It hasn't been easy and as a mom of two kids with Type1 I have to admit.I think I have reached my breaking point, 100 x's over! My mom had been in and out of the hospital over the winter months. Spending days with her and going back evenings caused me to rely more on my husband and the kids to keep the household running. They did a very good job, proving that I may not be as invincible as I think of myself :/. Well the flu struck me at the end of February...ugh! By March, the stomach virus hit and when it attacked our Kalee, it ended with her having 24 hours of low, low, low blood sugars. It did not matter what we did to increase her blood sugar level that poor girl would not rise... We had blood sugars as low as 22 and the highest we would see were 57. We fed her every type of fast acting sugar to slow acting carb that that she could take in.. Finally we went to the dreaded glucagon... Not Once, Not Twice but Three Times!!! With Kalee's blood sugar only increasing to 69, the Dr. suggested we take her to the E.R in the middle of the night for a glucose drip. I begged the Dr. to offer another suggestion (as we have had many experiences with the E.R, not really knowing how to care for kids with Type 1). Dr. Said if I wanted to continue to stay awake with her throughout the night to give her sugar and test her gluose levels she would meet me in the office first thing in the morning.. Well I took that suggestion and stared at Kalee most of the night when I was not waking her to give her juice or a peanut butter cracker. We drove with heavy eyes to the Dr.s office early the next morning. Dr. Suggested doing a blood test to check for Addison's disease which causes unexplained low's.. Ok... Just hearing Addisons Disease brought me to my knees and I wanted to fall on the floor.. How could we handle one more thing?.. This was all that was going go through my mind. We stayed for the hour of blood tests one at the initial check in then two more a half an hour apart after they injected Kalee with a hormone to see how her body reacted to it. We went home and the wait began. We waited through the weekend and the next week, until the following Friday. In the mean time, Kalees blood sugar was back to her "normal" range (anywhere between 75 to 250) depending upon the day, the weather, her mood, her diet.. Virtually everything in the world seems to affect blood sugar levels..! Well Friday came and I received a text, simple and to the point. "Kalees labs were Perfect".. No Addison's disease, and nothing out of the ordinary! Well Thank God for that! I really did not feel that I was strong enough to handle one more thing. Now Kalee on the other hand was taking it all stride. I wish that I as a parent had the resilience of my children.. It seems that life in general brings trials.. More than many of us feel that we overcome ... I cannot tell you how often I feel as if I am "Hanging by a thread." Kalee is doing well... Blood sugars are back to normal..(U know, up and down as usual). Over the past few months she as well as my other two children have taught me a very valuable lesson.. To accept the thing that are out of our control. This is something that I have always had difficulty with but they are great examples for me, and I am still learning every day to try to "Roll with the punches." <3 <3 <3

Taking Type 1 on Vacation... Wish we could leave it home!

It has been far too long since my last post. We have had so many changes over the past few months. Our oldest daughter Macy graduated from high school and is currently attending the NYS University of Albany... She is majoring in political science and is loving every minute of the college experience! Kalee,16, is now beginning her Junior year of high school. She is starting to show signs of, "school itus"... You know that chronic need to be finished with the drama of high school. Unfortunately, this usually does not hit until closer to Senior year so.... She has quite some time left to go. :(. As for , Michael, age 13 now... He is plugging away at his last year of Middle  School. He reminds me every day that he would much rather stay home and play.. (play referring to his iPod and electronic gadgets)  than attend school.... Academics do not seem to be the top of his priority list these days. Kalee and Michael had a pretty uneventful summer when it came to their blood sugars right up until our first full day of vacation in Florida... Typical right? We took our annual 22 hour drive to sunny Florida in August to visit with some family and spend a week in Disney with our adorable friend Mickey Mouse!  Our first evening after a lovely dinner we headed back to our resort to get some sleep before heading to the Magic Kingdom the next morning. At about 9 p.m Kalee mentioned that her stomach was not feeling well. Her blood sugar read in the lower 60's so I gave her some crackers and juice.... Yikes! Big mistake... It took all of two minutes for the juice and crackers to come right back up thus beginning the viscous cycle of every half an hour vomiting throughout the night. Now a stomach virus to the non diabetics of the world is bad enough but having type 1 with this virus puts a whole new spin on it. We struggled to keep Kalee's blood sugars up because she could not keep anything down. Finally having to give her a micro dosage of glucagon to raise her glucose level to a safe number. Then, as many of you know.... Here come the ketones. As much as Kalee tried to drink water to flush those nasty ketones out of her system, it was close to impossible to keep the water down for more than five minutes. By 8 a.m the next morning my concern turned to worry. I contacted Kalee's physician here in NY who felt that if we could not get the vomiting to stop and fluids into her we would need to take her to Arnold Palmer Hospital in Orlando. My heart sank. Just what this poor girl wanted right... to spend her vacation visiting Arnold instead of Mickey :(. Not to mention the thought of bringing my daughter to an out of state hospital with doctors that we did not know terrified me. I began trying small drops of water on Kalee's tongue.... She finally started dozing off after a full night of vomiting and I would wake her each hour to give her sips of water through a straw. Thankfully by late afternoon.... Kalee's fever had broken, she was keeping fluids down and her ketones had decreased to a trace. By the next day we were in the parks doing what families are supposed to be doing in Walt Disney World.... Having a Magical Time! Our vacation which started out on not such a magical note turned into one of our very best Disney experiences!  Type 1 sure does trip us up from time to time but we try our very best to not let it knock us down!

A New Year.... Bring it on 2014!

        Happy 2014!  Is it really a New year? Where did the time go? Well the holidays came
 and went. I would love to say that they came and went without a hitch but... life is not as uneventful as we wish for here in the Waddingham household.  Just before Thanksgiving our Kalee had a day of seriously unexplained low blood sugars. By midnight we turned Kalee's insulin pump right off after hours of doing just about anything that we could think of to get her blood sugar to rise above 60.... Unlimited glasses of orange juice... sugar tablets... peanut butter and crackers... These attempts were doing nothing more than contributing to the nausea that poor Kalee was feeling.  I went into a "Diabetic Mom" panic...  U moms know what I am referring to...the half smile, no worries, consoling words and silly jokes all for the sake of keeping your sweet diabetic (no pun intended) calm.. Holding back the flood of tears that are on the brink of overflowing. After a returned telephone call from the endocrinologist... it was determined that we would have to administer glucagon in hopes of breaking this hypoglycemic cycle. My hands trembling uncontrollably as I pulled the glass vial with powder substance and barbaric needle out of the dreaded red glucagon case. As I mixed the elements together, I said a silent prayer, hoping desperately that this would work.  While sticking that ridiculously thick, extremely long, inhumane needle into Kalee's leg, my heart felt as if it would beat right out of my chest. I quickly pulled it out of her thigh and waited... We waited and waited in hopes that Kalees blood sugar would rise quickly. After about ten minutes Kalee's glucose meter read 90... She was rising but it was not exactly the number that I had hoped for.. I was looking for a 150 to 170 and eventually after about an hour she made it to 154. When the Dr.'s office opened I took Kalee right in to be evaluated. The endocrinologist had no explanation as to why this happened. They have seen unexplained lows before but it is quite rare not to be able to get the blood sugar to rise.  The theory was delayed reaction to insulin and exercise... The only other explanation would be an adrenal condition and I am not ready to  deal with one more diagnosis right now so.... we will go with the delayed reaction theory.  After working closely with the endocrinologist for weeks we have made a number of adjustments which seem to be working for now. So we got through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years with lots and lots of carb. counting and measuring serving sizes.  Kalee turned "Sweet Sixteen"... a few days after her return to school from the holiday break.  We are now, embarking on an entirely new experience of driving.....!  She passed her drivers permit test the day of her birthday and is anxious to get out there behind the wheel.  I am certain that there will be lots to blog about when Kalee is actually stepping on the gas, but for now we will take that issue nice and slowly....  So, Happy New Year to all of you wonderful families out there.  If life with diabetes has been going smoothly for your family, then you are truly blessed, and I wish for all of you that things continue to work out that way.  If life, however, is a bit more topsy turvey and up and down like what we are experiencing in our house,  please know that you are not alone and I am walking through it with you.  My wish for 2014 is a Healthy Year for all of us, with hopes and prayers for embarking on one year closer to a cure.. xoxoxo!

Wishes for a Happy and Safe Halloween.. :D Uneventful in the world of Type 1 is always good too... ;)

Wow.. October came and went, in the blink of an eye.  How can it be that Halloween is actually tomorrow?  November is on the horizon which means the holidays are coming fast!!!  September was a month of trying to get back into the swing of things.  The dreadful routine of waking up at 5:30 a.m.  Packing lunches (slipping the carb. counts into the lunch bags) and trying to figure out how those crazy blood sugars are going to react to the school activities of the day.  October has been a very busy month... With sports winding down, we may be able to catch our breath before things get crazy again.  Kalee, my 15 year old has had diabetes for nine and a half years now.  In those almost ten years, I have never had to use a glucagon emergency injection.. (I guess there is a first time for everything).  About three weeks ago, following a vigorous soccer practice Kalee came home feeling low.  Her blood sugar was in the 60's so we gave her some sugar..  waited until she seemed to feel better, then she quickly jumped into the shower.  She came out feeling low again, so I immediately gave her orange juice.  She didn't look right as I held the cup to her mouth while she swallowed..  Kalee's eyes became glassy as I tested her blood sugar again.. The meter read 22.  As, I tried with all of my strength not to allow panic to set in, I quickly realized that Kalee was now unable to swallow any juice.  As I stirred about my kitchen fumbling for the cabinet where I keep the glucagon, I pleaded out loud...  "Please God, Please God, Please God". I had never used the glucagon before and as I tried to mix the liquid solution with the powdered substance my hands trembled like never before.  Thankfully,  after seconds of fumbling (which seemed like minutes).  I was able to get the solution into the vial and stick it into Kalee's thigh.  I was so shaken and praying that it would take effect immediately.  She began speaking within minutes but, I now could hardly speak.  Trying to pretend that I am fine with all of this is not easy and sometimes my acting skills go right out the window.  I closed my bedroom door and buried my head into my pillow for a ten minute sob...  I sobbed until my pillowcase was stained with black mascara then opened my bedroom door to retest Kalee's blood sugar.  She was a whopping 72... Not the number that I was hoping for but it was do-able.  I spoke with her Dr.'s who had us come in the next morning.  They were so calm and full of comforting words like, "You did the right thing,"  "Your doing a great job, " but I felt like a complete fail.  My head knew that this incident was not fault but my heart could not stop blaming myself.  Isn't that what we mom's are great at... blaming ourselves for things that are out of our control?  Needless to say, the Dr.'s helped me make some insulin/pump adjustments and although things are no where near perfect, we, thankfully, have not yet had any other scary incidences.  As a matter of fact, Kalee seemed perfectly fine, hours after, but I am still not quite right, weeks later.  As we get ready for Halloween, I am trying to focus on the positive.  This holiday can be tricky for families with Type 1 but somehow it always turns into a fun time.  We did our pumpkin carving last night and as always the pumpkin seeds are a favorite treat for the kiddo's to munch on.  I would like to wish all of my Type 1 Diabetes Families out there a Happy and Safe Halloween.  Try to find the joy and fun in the holiday even though all of those yummy/sweet carbs. can cause some parent anxiety...  ;)

Pumpkin Carving Pics:   FYI -  1/2 c of cooked pumpkins seeds = 7 carbs!!!  :)

Back to School... !

OMG...  It has been quite some time since I have posted. Not for lack of excitement in this house, but because we never seem to be able to sit long enough to catch our breath these days.  The kids headed back to school a week and a half ago.  At first the quiet was deafening but, as most parents know, that does not last very long.  (maybe an hour or two) LOL!  The week before school always brings on a bit of anxiety, as I meet with Kalee and Michael's teachers, to go over their diabetes care plans.  Most of the teachers are very open to taking the time to briefly go over the medical needs of the kids.  Then you get a few of the teachers that look at you as if you have ten heads.  Regardless...  as a mom, with two type 1 diabetics, I have learned to not be phased by the teachers that act as if I am wasting their time.  You develop a thick skin, really quickly, when it comes to your children's well-being....  So off to school they went as I said my silent prayer for an uneventful day (when it comes to the blood sugars.)  Thankfully, this year we did not have any first day of school omni-pods beeping with occlusions or unexplained hypo/hyperglycemic episodes..  That was all saved for the second day... ugh!!!  Oh well...  This is our life.  To many families, it may seem absurd but to ours this is the norm.  My hope for all of Type 1 families out there, is that "Back to School" was a smooth transition.  I know the worries over all the little things that can occur in Type 1 life can take it's toll on the parents. Yet somehow we survive!  ;)

                                                          
                                                                 Ready for school!!

How low can you go????

Last night, beginning at around 9 p.m Kalee began experiencing some unusual low blood sugars.  We could not pin point the reason..  There was no over bolusing, and she was doing some swimming and running earlier in the day, but nothing that would drop the blood sugar to 43 and keep it there for five hours.  I am not exaggerating, at all, when I say that we gave Kalee almost half a bottle of sugar tablets, 2 granola bars, crackers with peanut butter and jelly on them, 2 baggies of fruit snacks and 2 cups of orange juice (which my husband ran out at 1 a.m to purchase.) This was over a 4 hour time frame and her blood sugar would not go above 54.  I turned the insulin completely off (which I hate to do) and when she was still dropping, I pulled the pump right off of her, in fear that it had possibly malfunctioned and was still delivering.  It was not until about 2 a.m that she began to rise (only to 87)...  I continued checking her blood sugar throughout the night (or should I say, wee hours of the morning).  When she finally reached 100, I put another pod on her at the lowest basal of .05 and she still woke up in the 100 range??  I have absolutely no explanation for this.  Just when I think that I have experienced pretty much everything there is in the world of Type 1, something else gets thrown our way.  I will keep a close watch on Kalee throughout the day.  I was trying not to show my fear, but my anxiety was increasing with each blood sugar test that was not showing improvement.  I would like to say that I roll with the punches but some days (and nights) I would rather just punch something instead of actually rolling with them. ;)  Hope everyone has a nice weekend and any thoughts on what may have caused Kalee's outrageous lows are always welcome!

Happy Summer :)

Well....  It has been some time since I have posted last.  June was a bit of a whirlwind with final exams and end of the school year activities!  I welcome summer vacation, for sure.  No 5:30 a.m alarm clocks going off or teenage girls banging on the bathroom door to hurry each other up so everyones hair can be perfect...  (It's all about the hair in the morning, with the girls..lol).  Michael went to a Sugar Free Gang Camp (camp for children with diabetes)...  the last week in June.  He loves it and looks forward to going every year.  Kalee had gone for many years, as a matter of fact this was the first year that she opted out....  her explanation was, "I live diabetes every day, so I do not need one extra week in the summer to be reminded of it."  Sounds like a typical fifteen year old attitude to me... but, I do get where she is coming from ;)  Kalee has beeen keeping busy with soccer clinics, which seem to make her the most happy in the summer.  I would love to say that her blood sugars have been leveling off but....  NOT!!  The numbers go up and down like a roller coaster.  Our main problem is the actual omnipod itself.. It does not seem to be a great fit for her, with lots of occlusions or just plain falling off but since it is still the only wireless insulin pump out there, that is what she wants to stick with.  Michael is using it, as well, without many problems for the time being.... you all know how that goes :)  Kalee just got the new Dexcom continuous glucose meter....  it seems much more accurate than the original Dexcom 7 and it comes in funky colors, the shape of the i-pod nano, so it is slim and sleek enough to fit nicely into a pocket.  So far so good with it although Kalee is still not big on having more than one gadget stuck into her....  and I can't say that I blame her. So that currently brings you all up to date as to where we are this summer.  Our plans are to head on down to Disney in August.  I am hesitant about the drive with the issue's that I still have with my back but....  I know for sure, that a vacation is definitley welcome for our family.  This may be the last year that we can do the August Disney Vacation because, our oldest daughter, Macy, will be starting college in 2014.  Senior year in the high school begins for her this coming September, which is just wild to me....  So I hope that everyone is having a safe and happy summer with little to no issue's in the world of Type 1D.  xoxo <3

Michael (blue shirt)- Holding up 1 word puzzle pieces showing how Type1 makes them feel.

A New Normal....

I do not have the exact words to express what our family has been through over the past month.  We lost our young, beautiful, kind hearted, always smiling, cousin Chrissy, after a courageous battle with breast cancer.  She was  a wonderful wife, mother, daughter, "aunt" to my children and "sister" to me.  Chrissy was my first morning phone call and my last "Good Night" text after a busy day of doing the stay-at-home mom things that we stay-at-home moms do.  You know, the cooking, cleaning, taxi-drivers of the world that help with homework, balance the check book, kiss the bruises and wipe the tears.  Our lives have been changed forever and we now have the daunting task of trying to develop a "New Normal." The "Normal" as we knew it has been taken from us and trying to come up with the answers to "Why?" has been unrelenting.  My own faith felt shaken by this tragedy that has devastated my family...  As I stood at Chrissy's graveside today, looking up toward heaven asking God..."Where are you in all of this?" I felt so broken and alone.  I have been searching for comfort in this storm of grief.  A passage in a book that I have been reading spoke to me clear as day: A quote from Choosing to See, by Marybeth Chapman, "As I took a walk on the beach, I cried out to God.  How?"...  Here is what I heard....  How? By remembering that I am God and your trust has to rely completely on Me...  no striving of your own will to fix, heal, cure, help, calm any of what you see as a mess. I allow what I allow for reasons you can't even comprehend... rest.. you won't figure this out."  That passage spoke to me.  Focusing on the why's and the how's is not part of God's plan for us.  There are situations that God allows to happen in our lives that we will never be able to understand.  My family's heart is broken.  It is so easy for us to get washed away in the "Why's" we must instead trust God and hold on to the promise that we will be with Chrissy again some day.  Thus the undaunting task of creating a "New Normal" in our world that will never be the same without her.

Out Of Our Control.... "The Big Picture"

"Out of our control"... What is the "Big Picture?"  This is an issue that has literally slapped me in the face over the past few weeks.  Our family has been struggling with some personal health issues....  attacking not one but a few of us and it forces me to realize that as much as I try....  I cannot control every aspect of life.  My children who are so precious to me are truly in the hands of God, (and there are no better hands than His) but.. as much as I wish that I could "fix" everything for them.....  that is not the way life works.  I can't always fix the health issues or the heart aches and trials that we all seem to go through at some point in our life.  I haven't even been able to fix my own struggles as of lately...  and I am putting it out there friends...  I have truly been struggling myself recently.  I am certain that life has climbed on me and as much as I would like to think that this has happened overnight...  I realize that I have been struggling for months maybe even years....  Could it be that two of my children have been diagnosed with Type 1??   Absolutely..  Could it be that I worry, at times, about my oldest getting it?? Certainly....  Or could it just be that I have been struggling with my own personal issues which have lead to one very anxious woman who realizes.....  that everything is feeling out of control....  I am learning with each day that I really need to turn "Everything" over to God...  Which if you know me you have to know that this is something that "Mrs. Fix It" truly struggles with.  We are all human and as much as I wish I could share that I have it all together all of the time, those of you who know me can attest to the fact that I do not... I feel that I need to share this for others that are going through struggles and fears that are simply "Out of our control." You know the saying/song...  "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.."  Well...  I am not so certain that those words are absolutely true but  I do feel that the struggles and trials in life happen for a reason..  I wish that I had the answers for so many "Why?" questions but I do believe there is a "Big Picture," that isn't always revealed to us in our timing ... <3  xoxo

Sweets and Treats that the Easter Bunny delivers.. :D

Happy Easter everyone! (Especially to my Type 1 families -out there).  I know that the Easter Bunny delivers candy and treats that can sometimes get a little confusing when it comes to carb. counts and insulin delivery.  The Bunny also delivers some small toys (bubbles, chalk, jump ropes) and gift cards-for the older kids (which can get a bit costly ;).  So, for the most part, in this household...  the candy gets delivered for Easter Morning and if we are lucky...  the Easter Bunny leaves the back of the packaging in a cabinet (which has the nutritional facts listed... including the carb counts!)  If the bunny forgets to leave the packaging- which is easy to do when filling the baskets late at night, (tired and not thinking clearly), we just wing it...  after all, it is a holiday and we all deserve a little celebrating.  Any chocolate the size of a hershey kiss we count as 3 to 4 carbs.  1 normal sized jelly bean, we count as 2 carbs...  the jumbo sized are about 5 carbs. A medium sized chocolate bunny we "guestimate" between 35 and 40 carbs.  A great resource can be the Calorie King carb. count booklet, which I used to carry around, religiously, in my purse along with my wallet and car keys! Hope some of this helps you parents out there who are working hard to make Easter as "Normal" for your Type 1 kiddo's as it is for every child who celebrates the day!  Happy Easter!  P.S..  Jelly Beans are a great way to treat a low!! <3

Trail of Test Strips... :)

I have just finished picking up the house from the morning fury of getting the kids out the door to school and I realized that in every room there is a test strip on the floor.  Now, parents of diabetics, you are going to totally relate to me when I say that we are like Hansel and Grettel in this household with leaving our trail of test strips everywhere we go.  I cannot possibly understand how they get EVERYWHERE!!!  I have joked in the past with my friends that anyone will be able to find us no matter where we are by following the trail of test strips.... They end up outside, in the back yard, the front lawn, the car.....  pretty much anywhere that you can imagine...  I found one floating in the pool last summer....  No one was testing in the pool....  hmmm.  The other morning a test strip was found while making my bed, beneath my pillow.  Must have stuck to me from the the midnight or 3 a.m blood sugar checks....  It is a silly thing, but I guess the trail of test strips is a pretty good indicator that the kids are doing their blood sugar testing and maybe I should take comfort in that instead of getting so frustrated with the vacuum cleaner, which for some reason will not suck any of them up!!!  Oh well I will be going around the house into each room and picking up the strips by hand this morning.  I may need a cup of coffee before I begin that task :) Enjoy your day!

Happy March Everyone :D

Wow...  It is March 1st already!  I feel like I lost the entire month of February.  It has been pretty much a blur since my back surgery, almost 4 weeks ago. Recovery is going (ever so slowly).  Type 1 doesn't care about mom's surgery though!  It feels at times like it has a mind set of its own..  You know what I mean, right?? Like..  the lets kick you when your down mind set..  Not always, but sometimes..  Well, regardless, last night Kalee was feeling a little low before bedtime and her blood sugar was reading 89 so I gave her a juice box since she was going to bed and had finished her indoor soccer practice about an hour prior.  I had a feeling her blood sugar would plummet after all of the running.  Well, twenty minutes later she came to tell me that her blood sugar was 250...  What?? Impossible...  I said, lets do a re-check.  Sure enough Kalee's blood sugar was reading 257.  Oh well, sometimes we just cannot explain these things.  So I gave her a correction bolus and she was off to bed.  I was too, but....  you parents of Type 1 diabetics know about much sound sleep we get each night ;)  I tested Kalee about an hour later and she was now 301. Hmmm...  What's going on here?  I bolused her again and headed to bed.  The entire night was hour re-checks with high blood sugars and correction bolus's.  On any normal given night I would have done two corrections and if Kalee's blood sugar was not dropping, would have changed her site and moved on....  However, recovering from this surgery has "fried" my brain a bit and I was feeling so exhausted that I was sure one of the correction bolus's would have kicked in.  To no avail by 6 a.m Kalee was awake and getting ready for school, still sitting in the 200 range.  I asked her to let me take a look at her site for a quick check. To my dismay there was a patch of pooled blood and insulin sitting just below the insertion site of her omnipod.  TMI...  YUCK! Oh no...  "I'm a fail..."  Was the first thought that entered my mind... If I had done my normal protocol with a site change last night we would have all slept more sound.  Kalee changed the site and moved on with her day as if nothing happened at all.. Thank God for the resilience of teenagers :)  I moved on, as well, there really isn't a choice in the matter and instead of beating myself up over it, which I have done many times throughout this journey of parenting,  I chose, for today anyway, to accept that these things will happen from time to time and maybe "I am not such a fail."  None of you parents  out there dealing with health issues, whether it be you or your children are a fail.  We are all trying to do the best we can and as difficult as it is... We must accept that some things are out of our control.  Forgiving ourselves is a struggle but it is necessary to survive Type 1 parenting!!!  Happy March Everyone..  and please... Think Spring!!!  <3

Road to Recovery :)

Well.... I am eleven days post surgery and I must say, it's been a bit more of a struggle than I had anticipated.   The kids ( my main concern) while I was in the hospital, did fine.  Blood sugars cooperated, which alleviated some of the "mom"stress.  The surgery was more entailed than originally thought.  What went from a supposed one hour procedure turned into a three and half hour operation.  There was a great deal of nerve manipulation and although I can walk, I am very unsteady with little to no feeling in my left foot.  I will begin physical therapy this week so, I am hopeful that I can regain some strength back.  Being home has been somewhat of a journey because, as you parents know... Type 1 diabetes does not care if mom is "under the weather."  Since I have been home...  Michael caught a cold...  (colds are no friend of blood sugars)..  His blood sugars have been through the roof!  He is finally on the up scale, feeling good and blood sugars stabilizing (for the moment). ;)  Kalee.... thankfully, has really "stepped up" while I have been down.  She has helped in taking care of her brother as well as keeping on top of her own blood sugars which has not been easy.  I want to thank everyone for their prayers and well wishes.  Please keep them coming.  I have a longer road to recovery than I had hoped ( I must be a little delusional)  but I believe that in time... (who has time...  I am a mom!!)  I will get back to where I need to be.  :)

Please Say a Little Prayer.....

In one of my past posts (October)..."Take Time to Take Care of Yourself," I wrote about a back problem that I had been dealing with, which turned into a much bigger issue because I chose to ignore signals that my body was sending along the way.  We moms are famous for making light of our health here and there until something smacks us right in the face (or in my case..  in the back). Well, here I am months later, facing surgery coming up this Tuesday :(  This is so not the route that I was hoping to take.  As much as I have tried everything to avoid this...  I am now having to face the fact that this is the next step to  hopefully put me on the road to recovery.  In all honesty, I must say that I am probably just as worried about leaving the kiddos overnight, while I recover, than I am about the actual surgery itself.  Nights have not been a friend to us lately, with some serious hyper and hypoglycemic episodes.   My hope and prayer is that the Lord just puts his hands on this household and keeps those little pancreas's under His perfect control until I can get back to tend to them.  Please keep the kids in your prayers as this surgery day approaches...  and if you think of it... Could you throw a little prayer in for me too..?  ;)  Thanks so much! <3 

Happy Birthday to Kid #1.... xoxo

Happy Birthday to our oldest!! Macy, will be turning 17 this week and although we parents tend to make our mistakes with our first born children, remarkably, she has turned into an intelligent, beautiful, compassionate young woman, despite her parents "blunders" along the way! Macy has endured her share of "Wait a moment, I am testing your brothers blood sugar." and "Hold on a second, your sister feels low and needs a juice."  It is no wonder, that she is seriously considering going "away" to college...  Who can blame her!? ;)  Although, Macy does not have Type 1... it has affected her life tremendously. Her "Normal," since the age of 9 has been... getting up to get "mom" in the middle of the night if her sister feels low or makes a funny sound. She has been the kid to run and grab a juice box or get the insulin when I am tending to those stubborn, "highs" and "lows." Macy is the, "big sister," who will turn down the brownie at youth group because she knows her sisters blood sugar is high and it would be better to wait. So for your kindness, and patience along the way, I would like to say, "Thank you." I know it hasn't always been easy or fair, for that matter, but despite everything, you have evolved into a wonderful young woman whom, we as parents, are so proud of! We love you Macy. Happy Birthday... <3

Thinking clearly "ALL" of the time... LOL :D

Alright...  so it is pretty much an impossible task to think clearly every moment of the day...  (and night).  Last night was no exception! The kids were experiencing their typical highs and lows which happen from time to time, (more often than not!)  Well at about 3 a.m I could not figure out why on earth Kalee's omnipod would not deliver her a correction bolus.  I was trying to be so careful as to not wake her by my fumbling with the pod.  In trying to move Kalee to a different position for a better signal, I obviously woke her...  She glared at me with such a puzzled look, and said, "What are you trying to do??"  Now in my frustrated mom voice, I replied.. "What does it look like I am trying to do..  I am trying to give you a correction bolus!"  To which Kalee replied, "Then why don't you use my omnipod and put away Michael's.."  LOL !.  I was trying to bolus Kalee with the wrong insulin pump...  I had her brothers instead!!  My brain must have turned off after 2 a.m...  I have to laugh it off other wise I might sit here and turn on the tears ... although, a good cry can be very cleansing every now and then ;)  Oh well.  Today is another day!  Hope my "brain fog" goes away.. :)

School Exams - Not a big deal, right? ;)

Mid-terms and finals..  No big deal, right??  Every one of us, at one time or another, has had to sit in a classroom or gymnasium to take these exams with anticipation and anxiety.  Now throw Type 1 into the mix and things can get interesting.  Kalee has mid-term exams this week...  A post on our district web-site reads...  NYS law effective immediately prohibits, cell phones and any/all electronic devices into a mid-term/final/or state test.  Okay, we have always had the rule of no cell phones to be used during an exam but...  they were allowed into the room and to be turned off then placed under your chair until a proctor came to collect your paper, at which time you would gather your belongings and exit the room.  The cell phone is not my issue (although, both of my children have 504's on file with the district with one accommodation being that they will carry their cell phone at all times to contact a parent regarding health related issues throughout the day.)  My issue is the wireless insulin pump that looks much like a cell phone.  As if my daughter wants any more attention drawn to her, we now have to deal with the most definite possibility of a proctor confronting her as she enters the examination room regarding the little purple device in the small black case which delivers her insulin.  In a perfect world, the district would make all employees aware of these students with health accommodations....  Let's even go out on a limb and assume that they would make the teachers aware of the 504 plans that these students have but...  unfortunately this is NOT a perfect world and it makes the Mama Bear in me want to claw someone!!!  I have sent e-mails to administration and teachers regarding the issue and to give them the benefit of the doubt...  today is a holiday so I am hopeful that within the next day or two I will receive a response... Although I am prepared to take on the issue, it would be so nice if  just once the school district would already have a plan in place without having to seek out administration.  Lets keep our hopes high for a positive outcome to the matter...  I'll keep you posted ;)

Cutting the apron strings.... :)

The littlest things in life become very big deals in the world of Type 1...  My son, age 11 came to me and said "Mom, I'd like to try out for the play at school."  Now, in a perfect world any mother would be thrilled to have their child involved in extracurricular activities but...  in "My world" the world of Type 1 parenting...  my heart drops into my stomach with the though of, "After school, without mommy."  Now you would think that by now I would be used to this since my daughter, Kalee, also Type 1, has been playing soccer and running track since she were in middle school..  but ,even now that she is in the high school...  I find myself staring at the clock, after school, wondering when she is going to call for a ride home... If she is a minute past when practice is supposed to be over my heart starts racing.  Now, Michael has played on rec. soccer/even baseball teams since he were in pre-school.  The difference being....  myself or my husband has always been there watching him!!!  I don't worry so much while he is in school because the day is very structured with him checking in at the health office at least three times a day... but after school is a different story.  There are no nurses on staff and Michael always comes home to a snack waiting for him...  Now I will have to rely on a cell phone call and a granola bar to hold him over which may or may not do the trick.  I know that I have to do this but, in my heart I want Michael home safe and sound, with me, by 3:00, testing his blood sugar and eating his afternoon treat.  So tomorrow, I will be taking a BIG step in my world of cutting one maybe two at most of the apron strings...  which I have tried so hard for as long as I possibly could to keep attached.

Couldn't this get, "Just a little easier?" ;)

Well, today is A1C day...  and to be honest, I never actually look forward to this.  First of all, watching my children have their bloods drawn is not pleasant for me at all.  It especially used to break my heart when they were much younger and would put on those brave..  "Aren't you proud of me mommy," faces.  Secondly, I cannot imagine that Kalee's a1c is going to be too fabulous with all of the fluctuations that have been occurring with her blood sugar lately.  Michael will be in a good range...  He, thankfully, seems to be much more controlled right now than Kalee has been.  The kids never look forward to this appointment so it puts me on the "Bad Guy" list :(  Some how every dislike and bad thing that happens seem be the moms fault in our house.   I can't help wondering if  this will ever get easier :(  I go through the same conversation with my 15 year old, which eventually evolves into an argument over and over again hoping that one of these times she will understand that what I am trying to instill in her are healthy choices and good decisions to keep her well.  Instead in Kalee's mind, I am just mean....:(  I fear that Michael is slowly creeping down the path of ... "Testing my blood sugar is getting old now." I have watched him go from jumping up in the morning, testing and rushing to find me to convey his blood sugar reading to... handing me the meter and his finger and saying, "Here mom, I need to test."  I understand that Type 1 gets old very quickly but.....  couldn't it just get a little easier??  It is so constant and around the clock that it can consume a person if you allow it to.  I try not to do this but in all honesty I have to say it is a very difficult task.  I am off to pick the kids up early from school now for our Dr.'s appointment so..  please say a little prayer for the a1c's to be good and for this to some how, some way, "Get a little easier" <3

Teenagers and Type 1.. Can get complicated ;)

No one ever said that raising teenagers is an easy task.  Throw diabetes into the mix and things can get complicated.  Well last night my daughter Kalee...  turning 15 this week, went to a girlfriends for a sleepover.  Now let me just say that sleepovers are few and far between for my children because we have some wacky nights with blood sugars ranging from very high to extremely low..  Everything always seems worse at night in our household...  She texted me her blood sugar at 7p.m.. She was 145.  Then texted me a blood sugar at 10 p.m...  Her blood sugar increased to 210.  I  received another text at midnight..,  blood sugar was 245 (Oh no, here we go!!), .... We did one more correction and I was hopeful that she would come down.  I fell asleep and didn't waken until 6 a.m where I stared at the clock wondering if Kalee was sleeping, or dropping or feeling sick from a high blood sugar night.  A mom can really make themselves crazy with worry.. (well this mom can, anyway ;).  At 9 a.m I got a text " I feel sick and I am 405."  My reaction was none-the-less, over the top!  "What do you mean you are 405???"  "Do you purposely choose not to pay any attention to your glucose meter when it beeps and signals that you are rising??"  Okay, so maybe I over reacted a little, but I didn't need the beautiful response ..."U R being dramatic Mom! "  That is what my 15 year old texted back at me.  She changed her pod and blood sugar was dropping by the time she was picked up at about 10:30 a.m., but really!  Kalee knows all that we have done over the years to keep her healthy yet there are days where she chooses to ignore the possibility that by not taking care of her blood sugars she can become seriously ill.  It is such a fine line as a parent because...  I don't want to instill fear/and anxiety in Kalee by reminding her of the seriousness of her condition but...  at the same time she is getting older and should definitely be more aware of what needs to be done to keep herself safe and well.  I remember being a teenager (although the memory is getting more and more vague the older I get).. and I know that carefree feeling, sometimes I wish I still had it but....  in Kalee's case it can be detrimental.  She was perfectly fine for the rest of the day (except for having to listen to her mother rant a bit and go on and on about the importance of taking care of her blood sugars!)  It's what we mom's do, right??  Well, not all of us but I definitely do!  When Kalee was a little girl, I used to hear of these stories and be like...  "Not my daughter."  "Kalee would never be so irresponsible"..  Well, guess what parents.  I realize now that no one should ever be over confident of how you or your child will react in a situation unless we are walking through it ourselves.  Lesson learned ;).  I have a lot of lessons to go, I'm sure, but I certainly wish this teenage thing could be a little less stressful for all of us!